Despite the millions of changes that occur in the course of recovery; the last thing we change are our expectations. No matter how good things become we expect the most painful parts of our past to recur in some life-long pattern of déjà vu.
I know that when I say things out loud; it makes them more real, which makes it harder for me to ignore them or stuff them away. Maybe it seems strange that I talk to myself, but when I do it only in my head, I risk being less than honest. When I say it out loud, I notice the ways in which I might be justifying, rationalizing, or minimizing.