Nearly everyone I’ve ever served as a therapist or as a coach has said to me, “You’ll have to be patient. I have trust issues.” My response to that statement depends on how good I think their sense of humor is. What I’m most likely to say is, “Relax. We all do.”
The most common causes of relapse
I often hear that “relapse is part of recovery.” While I know that many of us do; I remind folks all the time that it doesn’t have to be part of our story. Following a relapse, the most important thing we can do is to return to everything that was previously working.
What you say vs. what your therapist hears
My clients can only be as honest with me as they are with themselves. My job is to challenge what they’ve convinced themselves of.
Am I too much?
Our fears are often irrational, but given our experience, it makes sense that we fear becoming something we are not. Thus, we who were raised to believe that we weren’t good enough, now come to fear that we’re “too much.”
Getting “better” is scary! (The fears nobody talks about)
It’s ok to be scared of change and transition. I urge my clients to be patient, especially because we tend to associate change and transition with loss.
How old do you feel? Making gains in emotional maturity
We know that the age at which a person starts using drugs and alcohol to cope is the point at which their development is arrested. What we often fail to consider is that abuse, neglect, and any traumatic experience also arrest development.
Loneliness: The most treatable cause of depression
I often talk with folks who see themselves and their lives as complicated. In all my years of counseling people, I have never found that to be true. What I find is that the leading causes of depression and anxiety are very simple and correctable.
5 ways to stop hating the holidays
Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, and winter. This is the time of year we feel obligated to be around people we don’t like, have an adversarial relationship with the environment, spend too much time on the couch, experience copious amounts of stress and put ourselves in financial straits. But it doesn’t have to be that way.
Overcoming self-centeredness in recovery
There’s a form of self-centeredness that isn’t intentionally selfish at all. The adage that applies is, “I’m not much, but I’m all I can think about.”
Taking compliments & why it matters
We are people who desperately want praise, recognition, affirmation and validation. Sadly, we are also uncomfortable receiving them and so we often reject (minimize, water down) kind words.