Happiness is more a state of being than it is an emotion. Gratitude and attitude are the keys. How lovely and disturbing to find that they’re both in our control. Here it comes – another opportunity to get out of our own way.
Seeking safety is a spiritual undertaking. It requires connection and a shift in awareness. Hypervigilance is constantly scanning for threats. Serenity is knowing that either no threat currently exists or that we’re equipped to deal with it if there is one. This is not something we can do alone. We need progressively more safe people and safe places.
One of the things I most often hear from folks I serve is how awkward it is for them to reach out and ask for help. I totally understand that feeling, but I encourage folks to consider that this is the easiest way to stagnate their recovery. To be self-conscious and embarrassed is understandable. We need to be mindful that these experiences are not only common; they’re familiar to the folks we’d reach out to.
I want to know what sustains you when you’re overwhelmed? I hope you have lots of answers to that question and I hope that list includes some pretty stellar people. I am grateful for the folks my HP puts in my life. When I look at my support system, my ego would like to believe that I’m so clever that I went out and found these folks – but it’s just not true.
I’ve learned that the expectations and standards we hold ourselves to serve as guiding principles in our lives. Like many in recovery, I found myself repeatedly crumbling under the weight of the demands I placed on myself, the pressure I put on myself to juggle an impossible number of undertakings, and the absence of support that I allowed myself.
When we talk about our “trust issues” we’re often referring to our fears of judgment and rejection. Our experiences both in growing up and in active use taught us to expect it. It’s a hard piece to reconcile. The people in our lives today are very different than those who gave us a distorted sense of self.
God speaks to me in lots of ways. The conversation with my friend today gave me pause to reflect on just how important the things I’ve been stressed about are. I know that all of my problems are good problems and still I sometimes try to run the show instead of letting my Higher Power be in control.