Despite the millions of changes that occur in the course of recovery; the last thing we change are our expectations. No matter how good things become we expect the most painful parts of our past to recur in some life-long pattern of déjà vu.
Somewhere between shame and fear is this place where unfamiliar steps seem impossible to take. It’s not that they’re difficult to understand. They’re uncomfortable, and so we go looking for softer, gentler ways to get what we need.
Burnout is generally understood as doing too much for too long. I’ve come to see that it’s never what I do that burns me out. It’s what I don’t do: self-care, coping, letting go, fulfilling responsibilities to myself, relaxation, fun, and most of all, seeking reciprocity in my relationships.