Freeing Ourselves from the Past

Freeing Ourselves from the Past

Despite the millions of changes that occur in the course of recovery; the last thing we change are our expectations. No matter how good things become we expect the most painful parts of our past to recur in some life-long pattern of déjà vu.

Why Happiness is a Lousy Goal

Why Happiness is a Lousy Goal

We all know that happiness isn’t a destination but we’re a society that loves the lies of romantic comedy films.

How to NOT Settle for Less

How to NOT Settle for Less

Settling is a great example of how people continue to utilize addictive thinking even in long term recovery. As the adage goes, “Everything you most want is on the other side of fear.”

Learning How to Have Fun Sober

Learning How to Have Fun Sober

Fun is life affirming. It provides release and reduces stress, depression, and anxiety. It gives us things to look forward to in the midst of hard work and change.

How Do I Ask for Help?

How Do I Ask for Help?

Somewhere between shame and fear is this place where unfamiliar steps seem impossible to take. It’s not that they’re difficult to understand. They’re uncomfortable, and so we go looking for softer, gentler ways to get what we need.

Overcoming Anxiety (Coping Strategies)

Overcoming Anxiety (Coping Strategies)

Learning to cope with anxiety through specific coping strategies allows us to improve our holistic health and reduce our use of unhealthy distractions.

Redirection and Self-Blame

Redirection and Self-Blame

Redirection – the horrible art of making everything our fault. Let’s examine this and move away from it!

Coming Back from Burnout

Coming Back from Burnout

Burnout is generally understood as doing too much for too long. I’ve come to see that it’s never what I do that burns me out. It’s what I don’t do: self-care, coping, letting go, fulfilling responsibilities to myself, relaxation, fun, and most of all, seeking reciprocity in my relationships.

Why Willingness Is Everything

Why Willingness Is Everything

I’ve learned over and over again that wanting it isn’t enough. Even needing it isn’t enough. It sounds a bit cold but I routinely ask people who are considering change, “What are you willing to do?”