Expectations of self lead to resentment

Expectations of self lead to resentment

I’ve learned that the expectations and standards we hold ourselves to serve as guiding principles in our lives. Like many in recovery, I found myself repeatedly crumbling under the weight of the demands I placed on myself, the pressure I put on myself to juggle an impossible number of undertakings, and the absence of support that I allowed myself.

Overcoming the fear of judgement

Overcoming the fear of judgement

When we talk about our “trust issues” we’re often referring to our fears of judgment and rejection. Our experiences both in growing up and in active use taught us to expect it. It’s a hard piece to reconcile. The people in our lives today are very different than those who gave us a distorted sense of self.

Boredom in recovery is a red flag

Boredom in recovery is a red flag

One of the very best additions counselors I know refers to ideas like boredom as, “Beautiful lies I tell myself.” I’ve come to see boredom as a lack of imagination and an avoidance of responsibility. It’s often a product of procrastination and/or insufficient investment in self and others.

Ambivalence is a barrier to recovery

Ambivalence is a barrier to recovery

There’s a fine line between, “I don’t know if I want this” and “I’m afraid of this.” That line is imperceptible when we’re on the fence.

Stop shaming yourself during quarantine

Stop shaming yourself during quarantine

The idea that we’re not doing enough is tied to the belief that we are not enough. A dear friend of mine in the field would often say, “We’re not really human beings because we don’t know how to just be. We’re human doers because we derive our worth from what we do.”

Alcohol, Zoom, and the Pandemic

Alcohol, Zoom, and the Pandemic

“While I’m in a meeting, my disease is outside doing pushups.” We know this is true – we also know that the disease is not “out there” it’s inside of us and seeking to undermine us at all times.

What does it mean to be sober curious?

What does it mean to be sober curious?

Being sober curious is part of a growing trend in which people are choosing to consume less alcohol in pursuit of better health, weight loss, and financial benefit.

Stop Sabotaging Love!

Stop Sabotaging Love!

Childhood abuse and neglect, adolescent and young adult trauma, it all adds up in layers like sediment that can’t be permeated.

Body Work Is Vital to Recovery

Body Work Is Vital to Recovery

Recovery is a process of holistic healing. Too often, we ignore our physical health out of the false belief, “If I ignore it, it will go away.”

When Sobriety Triggers Trauma

When Sobriety Triggers Trauma

The best I’ve ever heard it spoken, “Every time I get sober I remember, and every time I remember, I get drunk.”