A big part of recovery is noticing habits that don’t serve us and replacing them. Sometimes it’s as simple as identifying an emotional reflex. Example: Sometimes I catch myself feeling down and my brain immediately sets out to investigate why that is.
The Fear of Getting Better
Like most aspects of recovery, getting better is counterintuitive in that it’s generally terrifying. When we’re not sure how to be, we entertain the option of shooting ourselves in the foot, just to get back to the familiar.
Expectations of self lead to resentment
I’ve learned that the expectations and standards we hold ourselves to serve as guiding principles in our lives. Like many in recovery, I found myself repeatedly crumbling under the weight of the demands I placed on myself, the pressure I put on myself to juggle an impossible number of undertakings, and the absence of support that I allowed myself.
Overcoming the fear of judgement
When we talk about our “trust issues” we’re often referring to our fears of judgment and rejection. Our experiences both in growing up and in active use taught us to expect it. It’s a hard piece to reconcile. The people in our lives today are very different than those who gave us a distorted sense of self.
Boredom in recovery is a red flag
One of the very best additions counselors I know refers to ideas like boredom as, “Beautiful lies I tell myself.” I’ve come to see boredom as a lack of imagination and an avoidance of responsibility. It’s often a product of procrastination and/or insufficient investment in self and others.
Ambivalence is a barrier to recovery
There’s a fine line between, “I don’t know if I want this” and “I’m afraid of this.” That line is imperceptible when we’re on the fence.
Stop shaming yourself during quarantine
The idea that we’re not doing enough is tied to the belief that we are not enough. A dear friend of mine in the field would often say, “We’re not really human beings because we don’t know how to just be. We’re human doers because we derive our worth from what we do.”
Alcohol, Zoom, and the Pandemic
“While I’m in a meeting, my disease is outside doing pushups.” We know this is true – we also know that the disease is not “out there” it’s inside of us and seeking to undermine us at all times.
What does it mean to be sober curious?
Being sober curious is part of a growing trend in which people are choosing to consume less alcohol in pursuit of better health, weight loss, and financial benefit.
Stop Sabotaging Love!
Childhood abuse and neglect, adolescent and young adult trauma, it all adds up in layers like sediment that can’t be permeated.