On my good days, the only reason I make plans is to hear my Higher Power laugh. Given everything our country is experiencing right now and in the midst of overwhelming need for support in mental health and substance use disorder…I fell into the same old trap and made plans.
One of the many joys of having an addictive personality is chronically doing too much. It’s way too easy for me – everything in my life is really great stuff. All of my problems are good problems. On mornings like this one, my head is spinning in an effort to gauge what it is I should be doing right now.
I’ve come to understand that control is fear-based and more importantly, largely an illusion. On my good days, the only thing I’m in charge of is myself. On my great days, I’m not in control of me – my Higher Power is. I surrender on a daily basis – asking my Higher Power to work through me to give and receive.
One of the best (though sadly, true) statements I’ve ever heard about active addiction comes from the television series, Suits. “An addict will jump out of a third story window because they’re afraid of falling out of the penthouse.” Halfway between where you were and where you want to be
It’s a rare person that will give you their truth (more than simply an opinion) in no uncertain terms. I’ve learned that the best service I can provide to people like me is to point out self-deception (denial, rationalizations, justifications and minimizations). I don’t profess that my truth is THE