1. We’re not Rapunzel. If you’re waiting to be rescued by Prince or Princess Charming then it’s time to come to terms with a simple fact: You can have lots of support and guidance from people you’re not romantically involved with but ultimately, the only person who can save you is you. It’s your job, your responsibility, and

2. “Happily ever after” is a myth. We all know this and yet we fall into the damned trap anyway.

3. Sex is not love.

4. The false promise of a relationship is a lousy way to request sex. While we advise against new partnerships in early recovery, consensual sex is fulfillment of a basic need. Just be honest about it.

5. Setting limits and boundaries are vital relational skills. Get some practice with setting them BEFORE starting a new partnership.

6. There are countless ways to express love. Take stock of how many you know and feel comfortable doing before your next partnership.

7. Vulnerability is the key ingredient to intimacy – the type of love we all want.

8. It also simplifies: We can reduce miscommunication and conflicts when we are open and honest with each other. We tend to be uncomfortable with vulnerability

9. Dating sites are a lousy way to meet people. Get out and socialize.

10. Healthy partners want us to be ourselves. In order to do that, we have to have an identity and have a decent understanding of ourselves.

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Published by Jim LaPierre

Jim LaPierre is an addictions and trauma recovery expert. He is the cofounder of Sobernow.com. Jim invites your comments and questions: [email protected]