Vulnerability Works Like This

I hate being a hypocrite. As a therapist and as a coach, I am highly motivated to practice what I preach. Today has been a great day. It’s also been a day in which I bore witness to a lot of suffering and experienced a lot of powerlessness. In today’s video, I’m processing these experiences out loud.

I’m talking to you and to myself. I know that when I say things out loud; it makes them more real, which makes it harder for me to ignore them or stuff them away. Maybe it seems strange that I talk to myself, but when I do it only in my head, I risk being less than honest. When I say it out loud, I notice the ways in which I might be justifying, rationalizing, or minimizing.

I do this often and for many reasons. I know that if I just keep rolling this around in my head, I’m going to get stuck emotionally. I know that there’s nothing here for me to analyze or “figure out.” More importantly, I know that I’m a sponge. When I’m not mindful, I risk taking on other people’s problems and pain as though they were my own. I might even feel compelled to act or to help in areas in which I can do nothing about.

I chide folks often that if worrying about their loved ones actually helped them, I would facilitate a worrying group. Obviously, it doesn’t help them and it does hurt us. When we fail to take good care of ourselves, our ability to be present for others diminishes.

For as difficult as powerlessness is to accept; I have found that what I do when I don’t accept it is unnecessary and futile. My hope is that by sharing this process with you that it inspires you to more readily get on the same page with yourself and those who support you.

Keep treating your head like a bad neighborhood and consider that two heads aren’t twice as good as one. They’re a million times better.