How do you measure your progress in recovery? Counting days is good but it’s not enough. Developing plans that include specific goals is key. Vague ideas about getting better don’t lend themselves to accountability.
One of the very best additions counselors I know refers to ideas like boredom as, “Beautiful lies I tell myself.” I’ve come to see boredom as a lack of imagination and an avoidance of responsibility. It’s often a product of procrastination and/or insufficient investment in self and others.
Shame is an addict’s worst enemy. It leaves us pushing away the very people best poised to help us. Shame is LOUD and it’s amplified by the disease telling us that rejection is inevitable and that trusting others will only lead to heartache.
The idea that we’re not doing enough is tied to the belief that we are not enough. A dear friend of mine in the field would often say, “We’re not really human beings because we don’t know how to just be. We’re human doers because we derive our worth from what we do.”
My friends in recovery personify the disease of addiction in a myriad of ways. I’ve learned volumes from that. There’s a vital distinction between what is me, and what is within me that is not me, seeking to destroy me.
The biggest difference between a pandemic and an epidemic is that the former is contagious and the latter is not. The biggest similarity is that we knowingly place certain members of our culture at risk of developing both.
If we’re going to overcome worrying; the first step is to differentiate it from concern. To be concerned is a healthy exercise of empathy and compassion. Worrying is waiting for the other shoe to drop and telling yourself you’ll feel relieved if it doesn’t and prepared if it does.